This was when the internet was becoming much more widespread, people started to listen to music and watch things on their computers, not on DVDs. We kept the DVD player and I Googled for weeks, trying to buy a copy of my favourite, but to no avail. Carol had vanished from my life. I tried to be philosophical, tried to reason myself into accepting it was ‘just one of those things’, a powerful intoxicating interlude and maybe it was, after all, time to move on. But something lingered, just would not go away…
IJ (with uncharacteristic sympathy): Tell me what happened. I want to know…
Me (gratefully): It all ends well, you’ll be glad to hear. Years later, long after I’d left the job, long after Nicky and I had presented the world with a couple of kids, well into our midriff-spreading 40s, I got a message on Facebook from an old colleague. It was great to hear from him, and my pleasure went stratospheric when he wrote: I seem to remember back then you had some weird fetish about an American fitness instructor. Have I got that right? Well, take a look at this. And he gave me a link to YouTube.
And there she was! My angel, my muse, my Carol, my Carol! She had outwitted time, technology and temporary oblivion, she was ageless, omniscient, immortal! And my old friends, there they were, too, the fitness gang! I gave effusive thanks to the anonymous benefactor (in Wisconsin, I gather) who’d had the vision of introducing Carol and Co to cyberspace. A grateful world showers a thousand blessings upon you! My hands shook. I could hardly speak. Involuntarily I got up and began to try a few of my old movements, and I hadn’t forgotten them, they were still there, embedded in my subconscious, or whatever it is… Nicky came to see what was up, jumped out of the way as I did an exuberant grapevine towards her, and took refuge behind our rather old sofa, smiling indulgently. The kids applauded. Life was complete.
IJ: So that’s it? Your greatest love? A fading face on a shoddy YouTube clip?
Me (with infinite scorn): Well, when you get to my stage of wisdom and maturity, young whipper snapper, you’ll learn to give and take love whenever, however and wherever you find it, and not ask too many stupid questions, hey? But that particular task, like so many others, may be beyond you…
And with that I rose majestically, for once having the sense to leave at the right moment, banners flying high, just before he did.
